My Birth Story

It's hard to believe that Sophia Joy is already 18 days old! She was born on July 3 at 1:37 p.m., weighing 3.82 kilograms and measuring 50 centimeters long. Here is the story of her birth:

On Friday, July 2, Keegan and I went to our 40-week prenatal visit. The doctor did an ultrasound and estimated the baby’s weight at nearly four kilograms. She had not “dropped” lower into my pelvis, and I hadn’t been experiencing any Braxton-Hicks contractions. The doctor was eager to induce labor because of the baby’s size, but Keegan and I requested one more week to wait for the baby to come on her own. Everyone was on edge about whether she would make her appearance before induction became necessary! Keegan and I went out to eat after the appointment at our favorite Chinese restaurant, and we saw two of the maternity clinic nurses there. Then we came home and fell asleep exhausted. The last thing we expected was that our baby would be born the next day!

On Saturday morning, I woke up around 2:30 a.m. to go to the bathroom and then had trouble getting back to sleep. Eventually, I got up and went into the guest room to read for a while. While I was up, I went to the bathroom again and noticed that I was bleeding very slightly. I thought that might be a sign that something was happening, but I wasn't sure. At around 5:15 I was still feeling awake but decided to go back to bed. Oddly, Keegan was awake also, and we started chatting. He was spooning me and my huge belly when suddenly we both felt a “pop” somewhere inside me. We both startled and wondered what it was – it didn’t feel like a normal baby kick or punch. Shortly afterward I got up to go to the bathroom and saw what I thought must be my "bloody show." Now I was certain that something was happening, but I wasn’t sure that labor was beginning. Still, Keegan and I got up and decided to have some breakfast. He made ratatouille omelets, while I frantically consulted my pregnancy books about what the bloody show should look like.

As we ate, I began to feel some pain in my back, like lower back achiness. It was mild, but it was coming on and then fading again at regular intervals. I was sure it was labor and that I was feeling it in my back because the baby was turned sideways in the uterus instead of face-down. Keegan started a log sheet for when the contractions started. They were coming about three minutes apart but were very mild. I didn’t have to stop what I was doing at all when I felt one, just putting my hands on my back and rubbing a little bit felt good. We puttered around the house for a while, getting together some last minute items for the hospital, doing dishes, and making sure the cats were fed. During this time, I had to go to the bathroom often, and each time a lot of fluid was coming out. I wondered if my water had broken and it was amniotic fluid. Hard to say, since it was a totally new experience. Finally, I decided it was time to call Dr. Lee, which I did around 7:30 a.m. He told me to come in to the clinic. We arrived there around 8 a.m.

The third floor of the clinic is the labor, delivery, and recovery floor. We made our way to the front desk where I sat on a couch while Keegan gamely tried to communicate with the nurses to get the necessary paperwork filled out. The nurses were very upset because they told us that we needed 40 “baby pads” (i.e. diapers) for the baby. Well, I had brought a few diapers, but not very many because I assumed they would be provided by the hospital. Why didn’t they tell us beforehand what we needed to bring? Minorly annoyed, I was led back into a labor room where I was asked to change into a hospital gown and lie down for fetal monitoring. As soon as I lay down, I noticed that my regular back contractions felt less regular and less painful. I was a little nervous about that and about the fact that Keegan wasn’t with me. While I lay on the bed with the monitoring machine, another woman came in to lie on the bed next to mine. I found out later that her baby was breech, and she was preparing for a c-section. With nothing else to do, I watched as she was shaved and given an enema. I was glad to avoid both of those procedures. At last, Dr. Lee came in to give me an internal exam. He told me that my water had broken and that I was about two centimeters dilated. He expressed concern that the contractions recorded on the fetal monitor were mild and irregular and told me that he wanted to augment my labor with oxytocin because my water had broken and the longer you wait after your water breaks, the greater the chance of infection. I told him that we really, really wanted to avoid oxytocin, and he asked me what time my water broke. I told him. He said that he felt he could give me four hours after my water broke for my labor to kick in strongly and that he would check me again one hour later, after performing a cesarean at 9:30.

After that, I was moved to a recovery room to wait and get my labor moving. Keegan came in to join me, and we got down to business with all of our natural birth techniques. I put my iPod on a portable stereo and turned on my birth playlist (lots of Simon and Garfunkel, with some Belle and Sebastian and other quiet favorites). I read up on good positions for back labor and spent all of my time walking to encourage the baby to drop lower. My contractions began to get stronger, so I asked Keegan to rub my back during them, while I got down on my knees and leaned on the bed. Keegan’s firm touch helped a lot with the pain. Besides being more intense, the contractions were coming every two to three minutes, so I was sure we were making progress.

We were moved to the VIP room (the largest, private recovery room) at a little before 9:30. Soon after, a nurse came in to start an IV with antibiotics, to ward off any infection because my water had already broken. The IV wasn’t that bad, but it did make it harder to walk around, especially since the pole kept running into the chandeliers in the overly-decorated VIP room. Next, I was asked to lie on my back again for the fetal monitoring. Without the constant motion of walking and the aid of gravity, my contractions once again slowed up, although they were now quite uncomfortable since I didn’t have the ability to move or have Keegan rub my back during them. Dr. Lee looked at the results of the monitoring and told me that my contractions were not any stronger. I told him that they had been getting more intense and that they were closer together, but he didn’t seem to give much credence to anything but the results of the monitoring. The pelvic exam revealed that I was still two centimeters dilated, although I was 80% effaced. Dr. Lee insisted that we start an oxytocin drip in my IV. I was both terrified, because I had heard that contractions are much stronger on oxytocin and disappointed, because I had really hoped to avoid any drugs during delivery. But I was in Dr. Lee’s care, and I had stated my case, so we agreed to the next step.

We moved yet again to another labor room where a nurse started the oxytocin at a very low level in my IV bag. Keegan gave me a hug, and I cried a little bit, and then we got on with the business of labor. I continued to pace around the room and tow my IV pole around. The contractions were getting really painful. I tried hugging Keegan, hanging onto his hands, and leaning over a table, but eventually we figured out that the best position was to get on my knees on the bed and hang onto the elevated headboard while moving my hips around. I started groaning and yelling about the pain, while Keegan faithfully rubbed my back and offered words of encouragement. During this stage, I felt very alone because we didn’t see any doctors or nurses, and I was anxious to know where I was in the process. I felt a desperate need to know how much longer I would be in this much pain. A nurse came in to up my dose of oxytocin, and I felt scared that they were raising the dose without checking how the first amount was affecting me. At one point, I felt like I might throw up, and I asked Keegan to grab a small plastic basin that I had seen in the bathroom in case I needed it. When a few nurses finally came in, they were very concerned about why the basin was on the bed instead of in the bathroom, and they were upset because the way I was hanging onto the bed during contractions was pulling on my IV tube. I couldn’t understand why anyone would be concerned with such mundane things when such huge pains were washing over me at such regular intervals!

At last, a nurse came in with a fetal monitor. By now, lying on my back was pure agony – it’s probably the worst thing you can do when you’re having back labor. I was gripping Keegan’s hands for all I was worth and yelling to beat the band. The nurse did another internal exam and told me that I was six centimeters dilated. I felt so disappointed: so much pain and still four centimeters to go! I started asking whether it was still possible to get an epidural. The nurses said they would consult the anesthesiologist. Meanwhile, I was able to get back into my more comfortable position on my hands and knees. I immediately felt better, although the contractions were coming closer together than ever. I really wanted a drink of water, but by the time I could get myself together after a contraction to ask Keegan for it, the next contraction was on me. All I could think about was that I would get some drugs and then I would have a break and could drink something. I just needed that mental encouragement that the pain was going to stop.

The next part of the experience is a bit blurry for me because I think I was in “transition,” which is the most difficult stage of labor for most women. I know Dr. Lee came in and told me that an epidural was not recommended for back labor. He offered a narcotic injection (Demerol) to take the edge off the pain. I agreed. Very shortly after receiving the injection in my butt, I started feeling the urge to push. For a long time, I thought what I felt was the urge to go to the bathroom, but finally I realized that I needed to push the baby out! Pushing was such a relief! I could almost immediately feel a burning sensation, and I knew that meant the baby was moving into the birth canal. I was so happy and excited. Nurses started coming into the room to encourage me to breathe deeply and push. They wanted me to lie in a semi-sitting position and pull my legs back along my hips, like a frog. One nurse even sat on the bed with me, put the soles of her feet against mine, and helped me to push against her. I liked that a lot and wished she had stayed longer. One poor nurse had to catheterize me briefly to remove the urine I had in my bladder – she definitely got yelled at, because I was afraid of how much it would hurt. The catheter did sting a little, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought.

When some of the hubbub died down, Keegan and I tried pushing while squatting. It did feel good, but it was hard for me to move back into the reclining position to rest between contractions. I was scared of moving because I could feel the baby was in a new position, and it just felt funny, like if I laid the wrong way, I could squish her somehow.

Finally, the nurses told me that after two more pushes they would take me to the delivery room. They brought in a wheelchair for me. I was petrified of getting off the bed and sitting on the chair, but I managed. They wheeled me across the hall, and I climbed gingerly onto the delivery table. I put my legs into the stirrups, and they strapped my legs down around the knees, which made me nervous because I had gotten used to pushing with my legs bent a lot more. I asked Dr. Lee if I could change positions, but he asked me to try it like this first, and it really wasn’t so bad. The nurses put these huge surgical drape booties over my feet – they went all the way up to my thighs. There were four or five nurses in the delivery room, with Dr. Lee in the place of honor. The nurse who usually assists Dr. Lee and who helped me at all of my prenatal visits was at my head encouraging me. I was so happy to be so close to delivering the baby. I noticed that the ceiling of the delivery room was painted blue with clouds, which I thought was a nice, calming touch. Every time I had a contraction, the nurses and Dr. Lee told me to push for a good long time. I felt like they were my cheering squad at the end of a race.

After a few minutes, Keegan came into the room wearing scrubs. Much hilarity ensued as one of the nurses tried to help Keegan get a sticky latex glove on over his sweaty palms. It took several tries, and lightened the mood a bit until my next contraction started. Dr. Lee told me that the baby’s head was large, and he wanted to perform an episiotomy. I told him to do whatever he thought was necessary to get the baby out – at that point, all I wanted was to reach the finish line and see my baby girl! After the cuts were made, everyone told me to give one last, strong push, and I gave it my all. I could hear Sophie crying, I felt a painful sting as her shoulders came out, and suddenly I could see a little human, upside-down, blue-gray, and covered in poop. The pushing part of the labor and the emergence of my baby girl was the most amazing, exhilarating thing I have ever seen. I couldn’t believe that I had done it or that this tiny bluish, bloody creature was the girl who had been poking and prodding me from inside for all these months.

After the birth, the placenta came out without any trouble, and then Dr. Lee spent what seemed like an eternity stitching me up. I was cranky because I just wanted to see and hold my baby. Keegan got some pictures of the nurses weighing her and stamping her footprints into my pregnancy diary. They did bring her over to lie next to me on the delivery table for a moment, but I didn’t get to hold her until a bit later. It’s traditional for babies born in the Korean hospital to sit in an incubator for four hours after birth, so it was quite a push for us to do something different. We succeeded in negotiating a fifteen-minute session with her before she was taken away. I was able to introduce Sophie to the breast, and she did latch on and start suckling for a little bit, so we were very happy about that. After only a couple hours and several requests, Sophie was out of the incubator, washed up, and back in our arms. We spent both days in the hospital rooming in with our girl, and I think it was the best decision we made – we had a head start in caring for our baby before we left the relative safety of the hospital. Of course, we had no idea that the challenges of parenting were just beginning….but that’s a whole new story.

Fun Weekend

Still waiting on Baby. I have been spending way too much time hanging around brooding about when she will come, so it was a welcome relief this weekend to have our friends Nathan and Eliza visit from Mokpo (on the west coast of Korea) and distract me. On Friday night, we went to a crab restaurant with Keegan's co-worker Fred. He had invited lots of his friends out for a crab dinner because his parents were in town for a brief visit. The crab was really delicious, and it was fun to see everyone. We met up with Nate and Eliza after dinner for ice cream and then headed downstairs to play poker with some Deokpo neighbors. Eliza and I wanted to participate in the proceedings but weren't sure how the guys would feel about Team Pregnant Lady. Fortunately, they were very accommodating. We actually made a good team since Eliza's willingness to gamble nicely balances out my aversion to risk-taking. Next time, though, I doubt they'll let us beginners play together. It was a late night, but I still had trouble falling asleep, and we all slept in late on Saturday morning.

Considering how late we woke up on Saturday, we managed to cram a surprising amount into the day. After a big breakfast, I somehow succeeded in convincing everyone to join me in the pouring rain for my doctor-mandated daily walk. It was actually a beautiful day in the valley where I usually walk because the rice paddies are so green and lush, and the mountains were misty. But we did get very wet! By the time we finished our walk, we were all starving, so we started on a mammoth egg salad for sandwiches, and I made some banana bread while we were boiling the eggs. We all wanted to take naps after lunch, but instead we almost immediately started thinking about dinner. Eliza made a big vegetarian shepherd's pie (with lentils instead of meat - yum!), and the guys huddled over the grill in the rain barbecuing pork ribs. By the time all this was finished, it was nearly 10 p.m.! That worked out well for everyone, though, because the Korea - Uruguay world cup game started at 11. I was totally zonked and decided to go to bed instead.

On Sunday, we were lucky enough to have our friends stay with us for the whole day. We spent some time with the Ryan family, who are going to take care of Nate and Eliza's beloved dog while they are in the U.S. next month. The guys decided to spend the afternoon brewing beer at Joe's apartment, and Eliza and I spent the afternoon in town having lunch and coffee. Then we came home for a pizza dinner and and early bedtime. It was such a relaxing weekend, clearly full of food and also good conversation. I just wish that our friends lived closer to us than 3 1/2 hours away!

Prenatal Yoga

One of my new activities these days is attending prenatal yoga classes at the maternity clinic. We meet twice a week on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, and it's been an interesting experience. I am the only foreigner in the class, which is, of course, conducted in Korean, so it is a good chance for me to practice my Korean listening skills and get familiar with body-part vocabulary. I've learned the words for ankle and thigh and to recognize the words for inhale and exhale, as well as getting lots of practice with left and right! I also have learned how to ask when someone's baby is due and to say that "The baby is moving." Still, it is definitely a challenge to communicate with the other students in the class, and it's sometimes frustrating not to be able to join in conversations about pregnancy and impending parenthood.

The class is held on the third floor of the clinic, in the postpartum care center. The center is a place for new moms to stay for a little extra time (up to two weeks) after their babies are born. The babies can stay in the nursery, and the moms can take classes on breastfeeding, infant massage, and postnatal yoga. I think it's nice that there is this option for new mothers to get some support, especially if their families are not nearby to help out during the first weeks of motherhood. I have heard that it is a pretty expensive option, though. The rooms are kept very warm, which I have heard is common practice for households with new babies, although it makes things a bit uncomfortable for our yoga class. We sweat up a storm, even though we are mostly only doing gentle stretching. All of the moms in the postpartum care center wear matching flannel flowered pajamas that are very pretty, but I can imagine that they are sweating up a storm, too. Because the postpartum center nursery adjoins the yoga room, we can often hear the babies crying, and sometimes the shade on the nursery window is up and we can look at the adorable Korean newborns.

The class always begins with us doing some stretches while we sit cross-legged on the floor, and then progresses to more difficult exercises with our legs outstretched or lying on our backs. There is a lot of giggling amongst the class as we try to bend our bodies into various poses while our enormous bellies get in the way. A few times, we have been asked to partner up, much to the mortification of whoever is partnered with me. Although most of the girls are shy about talking to me, as I am shy about talking to them, they are all friendly and smile when we inevitably meet in the bathroom downstairs after the class. At the end of each class, a nurse brings out a box full of chilled apple juice boxed drinks, which I look forward to like crazy while I sweat away in the hot classroom. I plan to continue going to yoga class until the baby comes. Who knows? Maybe I'll run into some of my classmates on the other side of the third floor, in the delivery and recovery area.

Latest Photos

Thought you all might enjoy a few photos of recent events:

A few of the baby shower guests: Sandra (thanks for organizing things!), Jennie, Ellen, Mina, Kayoko, and Joy. Leandra is behind the camera.

Proud mama-to-be at 37 weeks.

Baby Fair and Baby Shower

Baby, baby, baby. It's difficult to imagine that I will be even more obsessed with Baby when she finally arrives in three weeks or so. Seems like all of our activities these days are somehow related to pregnancy and the upcoming birth!

This past weekend Keegan and I met our friends Nathan and Eliza in Busan to attend a Baby Fair at the convention center there. We met them at the Lotte Hotel around 10 and took the subway to the fair. Once we got inside, we were quickly overwhelmed with the sheer variety and number of baby-related products being peddled. Nate and Eliza were interested in car seats and strollers, and Keegan and I found ourselves drawn to the toy and book booths. We did pick out a few English language books, including our new favorite, William Steig's The Amazing Bone. We oohed and ahhed over some very fun and unusual wooden toys, and both couples bought plastic baby bathtubs, which are a bit bulky to ship from the U.S. There were definitely some items at the fair that were different from what we'd expect to find at a similar event in the U.S. For one thing, many of the book booths were very focused on English language learning and advertised expensive packages containing scads of books and CDs to help children learn English. Our daughter is certainly lucky to be growing up in a household with two native English speakers! We also saw some Korean-style cribs meant for keeping baby comfortable on the floor. They were like giant, cushioned pens, with soft padded bottoms and walls. I thought that they looked like a good bed for me to sleep in as long as I curled my legs up. They were like cozy nests. Does their appeal for me mean that I am "nesting"?

After we finished up at the baby fair, we took a quick break at the hotel and then headed back out for dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant, Cine de Chef at the Shinsegae shopping mall. Everyone had a great time choosing something to order from the impressive menu, and it was fun to relax with friends at a classy restaurant. The only slightly odd touch was the ABBA video playing on the big screen over the bar. Why is ABBA so popular in Korea?

On Sunday, Keegan and I headed back to Costco, where we found a few more baby items and stocked up on salmon fillets, which are our new favorite dinner staple. We also got a ginormous beach towel to go with our beach chairs from last time, so we had better have good beach-y weather this weekend!

In other baby-related news, today I had a baby shower with my friends here in Korea. Several invitees were not feeling well and couldn't come, which made me sad, but it was wonderful to see everyone who could be there and to sample all the delicious foods that everyone brought. I have been pestering my friend Joy for weeks to make her world-class potato salad, so I was happy to enjoy it at last this afternoon, along with lots of sweets, and an amazing tomato-cheese quiche. My Korean teacher/friend Jennie made some amazing kim-bap (Korean-style sushi). Everyone was so generous and picked out adorable clothes for Baby, including a bunch of Korean kimono type shirts that are apparently all the rage these days. Baby was kicking a lot while I opened my gifts, and I surmised that she wanted out to try on all her adorable new outfits! Only three more weeks to go, unless she decides to show up a bit early...or late.

I am still feeling very well, although I am tired like never before, possibly as a consequence of getting up so often to go to the bathroom at night. I am dreaming like crazy, and even though I can't always remember everything in the morning, I think I am in the middle of a different dream every time I wake up. Not too many of them have been baby related, although I did have one dream in which Laura was teaching me how to breastfeed by demonstration, and I told her "Ok, stop, now I want to do it!" Guess I'm ready for my more experienced friends to pass the torch. Anyway, we have a doctor's appointment tomorrow evening, so I am hoping that Dr. Lee can give me an idea of whether the pre-labor ball has started rolling yet. I know that the baby's arrival is one of the most unpredictable HUGE events I'll ever have to deal with, and it is driving me crazy. Apparently, fatigue and uncertainty make me prone to rambling, so I'll stop there. I hope I'll have more news to report tomorrow after our doctor's visit.